Sunday, June 8, 2008

Dead ends, new beginnings

Ten years ago today, I thought I had reached the end of a dead-end street. Little did I know that there was a new road ahead. It was just the beginning.

After three pregnancy losses, so many surgeries, endless treatments, countless disapointments, heartbreak & pain, I thought luck had finally come knocking at my door. A pregnancy. Unannounced. Unexpected. And just as one opens the shutters in the morning to let in the first rays of sun, I, too, opened my heart to this miracle of life.

What at first appeared to be a dream come true, turned out to be my worst nightmare. Another ectopic pregnancy. The loss of my second tube. The end of a dream.

Waking up from the surgery was entering the depths of hell. For a brief moment I didn't want to live. I was surrounded by my loved ones, whispering words of comfort, when all I wanted to do was shout to the world "Please let me go."

But what we sometimes believe to be dead-ends, are nothing less than beginnings.

So, ten years later I celebrate the end of a road and the beginning of a new one.

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