drrrrring, drrrrring...

...the most beautiful sound in the world! My mom called saying they got home just fine. Dad's still a little shaken up, but much better. They stopped by the mechanics on the way home to make sure tomorrow at the crack of dawn he's working on my dad's prized possession. I got one of those I-told-you-so looks from my husband; he got one of those thanks-for-nothing looks from me. Thing is, deep down inside, I'm kind of glad he is the way he is, otherwise my son who would have a hard time dealing with two wacky parents. This way he only has to put up with a hysterical, paranoid mom.

And a sigh of relief to close off the day.

A nervous wreck

How am I going to survive the next two hours? My parents came over to spend the weekend with us. Just as they were leaving, we heard a loud bang. My heart skipped a beat and I went running up the street like a madwoman when I realised it had been my dad's car. Because of the fiesta in our village, our street was packed with cars and revellers, and as my dad was trying to avoid the crowds, he hit a tree. Luckily no one got hurt, but my dad was pretty shaken up. His car is his pride and joy. You see, my dad lost a leg to cancer 20 years ago and he relies on his car to get around. However, the fact of the matter is that he's 80 years old and doesn't have the same reflexes as he used to, which accounts for the many minor accidents he's had in the last few years. He wanted to get out of the car to inspect the damage and completely freaked out when my mom couldn't open the door on the passenger's side. I made sure he stayed put, assuring him that it wasn't anything a mechanic couldn't fix.

So, now I'm a nervous wreck. My parents live about 2 hours away and mom's cell phone is off because she always forgets to charge the battery (what the fuck do you need a cell phone if it's not on for emergencies?), which means I have to wait for them to get home to be assured that they're ok. My dad was close to tears when he left and I really worry about the journey home up those twisting mountain roads. I've called an aunt of mine letting her know what happened, so in case they're not home in 2 hours, they'll send a small search party out looking for them.

My husband thinks I'm overreacting, that they'll be just fine. The people who witnessed the accident and gathered round were going on and on about how it was just a fricken car, nothing to freak out over. Why would a grown man spill tears over a headlight or a bumper? But I know exactly how much that car means to my dad. It represents his mobility; it reprents life to him. Last year when he had a stroke, I remember him weeping like a child because he thought he'd never be able to drive again. Very few people understand that kind of attachment to a car, but I know exactly where he's coming from. His happiness and his freedom depend on that car.

So, now I have to wait around for that damn phone to ring. Please let them get home safe & sound!


Update (6.25pm): I'm fooling around here on my blog, re-arranging things to keep me busy while waiting for that DAMN phone to ring! Please ring soon!!! I can't take this anymore. My aunt called quite nonchalantly to find out how I was doing. She's pretending to be all cool about this, but I know her so well. A nervous wreck like myself. My husband just went out for his daily jog. How the fuck do men do it? Here I am feeling as if my whole world is about to come crumbling down and he goes out jogging. He's so annoyingly cool about everything. I remember once, when we were going through infertility treatments, we were at the hospital for one of the routine ultrassounds when I got a call informing us that our apartment had flooded and water was coming down the staircase. We came rushing home to a nightmare scenario, a pipe had burst and there was water everywhere. What do I do? Grab mops and buckets and what have you to start cleaning up the mess. What does he do? Prepare lunch, sit at the kitchen table, slowly nibbling away as he's watching the news on TV...with water up to his fricken ankles. I know, I know, I should be a bit more like him. But I'm not! And right now I could do with a little "freaking out" solidarity from him. Ok, I've had my rant.

Disbelief

Remember the other day I wrote a post about our situation with my husband being assigned night classes? Well, it gets worse...

My husband went to see the principal of his school today to explain our situation, that the timetable they want to give him is not compatible with mine, that we have a 7 year-old son, etc, etc. The guy just lost it completely. Shouting at the top of his lungs, he said that if he had to listen to every teacher's problems he would never get any work done. My husband had taken the litle guy with him because I had to stop by school, my son got so scared at hearing the principal shouting that he was clinging to his dad's legs. My husband was in shock. Now you've got bear in mind that my husband is the calmest person in the world. Annoyingly calm. I've yet to see him lose his cool. And because our son was with him, he decided not to react to the outburst.

So, this afternoon we went to talk to another teacher who's part of the committee who put together teachers' timetables. He wasn't at all surprised with the situation and says "Thing is the guy doesn't have kids of his own and then takes it out on others." We were shocked with this statement, of course. Infertility cannot account for his outburst, nor does it account for the fact that he's being completely unreasonable. We know very well that this all because my husband openly supported another candidate for principle. Excuse me, there was a revolution in this country back in 1974 that changed the Portuguese regime from an authoritarian dictatorship to a democracy. People should be allowed to voice their views without the fear of repercussions.

So, now we have to go down that road that we were dreading. Seeking legal advice, getting the union in on this and if necessary, taking it out into the public with the help of the local media.

We spent 12 years of our lives battling to have our son and now we can't even be there to raise him? I spend all my free time making my small contribution to society, helping other couples in their struggle to build a family. What about my family now? The little guy at school all day and then his parents working in the evening!?! Who's going to pick him up from school, watch over him while he's doing his homework, give him dinner, put him to bed? The asshole who's screwing us over out of revenge? I just don't get how people's minds work. I really don't get it!

Things that make you go GRRR...

I'm so f****** angry today I could kill someone. Just yesterday I was going on about James Patterson's great psycopaths, I think he could get some inspiration from me today.

Here's the situation. Both my husband and I are teachers. He works in a state school (high school) and I work in a private language school. The major difference in the way our employers regard teachers? My employers actually acknowledge that teachers are human beings and have a life outside the school, which might include a family. Doesn't mean that working hours are ideal, but the fact that they make an effort to put together more flexible timetables for teachers is something in their favour. My husband's employers regard teachers as robots because this is the Great Technological Era and human beings do not exist anymore. They are an extinct species. Ever heard of humanistic approaches in teaching? Well, forget about it! That would imply having real human beings as teachers and the government is not interested in that. This country is run by engineers, so give them numbers, stats, league tables, rankings and you have a happy bunch. Mention the fact that humans inhabit this country and they cringe.

As a private language school, most of our classes run after 5pm because our students come here after work or after school. So that means that the bulk of our teaching hours are from 5 to 10pm. Not the ideal schedule if you're a mom, but there's no way round this situation. That's why I put my son in a school near my workplace so he can spend his lunch hour with me and I pick him up after school and he's with me for a while before his dad goes to pick him up. After that they're on their own. Dad makes him dinner (yuck! he's the world's worst cook!) and helps with homework. I then come rushing home for the bedtime routine. It sucks, but it's the best we can do considering the situation.

Up until now things have worked smoothly because my husband usually finishes work between 4 and 6pm. Sometimes there's an overlap in our schedules, so the little guy just hangs around with the secretaries in my school, doing his homework until dad shows up. No major drama.

Yesterday my husband got a letter from his school with more or less an idea of the classes he might be teaching this year. My heart skipped a beat when I took at look at the paper and saw "night classes" mentioned on it. There is absolutely no way we can both teach night classes with a 7-year-old son at home and nobody to look after him! Today my husband went to school to get everything sorted and make it clear that night work is out of the question. Well, they told him that they're working on the timetables, but it was not their problem and he would have to sort out our situation at home. Basically, what they were saying was "We could care less about your family & don't hassle us anymore or else..." . So now we have to wait until next week to find out if we have a major crisis on our hands.

Now, take a look at this story. Because of the complicated situation in education here in Portugal, no stable teaching positions, a cousin of mine had no choice but to accept a teaching position out on the islands. That's a 3 year contract. Great if you're young & single. Not the case here. She's 40, married and has a 12 year-old son. But they decided it was for the best her accepting the job and moving out with her son and the husband could go over every month for a week to visit (working night shifts he's entitled to a a week off after 3 weeks of work) and they could home over the school holidays.

At the same time the President of our country is wondering why there is such a low birth rate here in Portugal. Hello! How can you have children with policies like these that just suck! And, by the way, does the word infertility mean anything to you? Well, it does to 500,000 people in this country who are having problems conceiving and very little help from the NHS.

Now I gave my husband an ear full today. Not his fault, of course, but I had to blow off some steam and he was at hand. "Uh-huh, uh-huh" was his response to my rantings about this government and the state they've put our country in. And what does my husband say to this? "By the way, we've run out of milk!"

GRRR...

The freakiest thing happened...

Last night I decided to watch the BlogHer video for the second time. I thought it was amazing and I wanted to take some notes for an article I'm planning to write for our community blog (Portuguese Fertility Association). I found the whole concept of bridges fascinating. I was busy writing away as I was listening to Lori, from Weebles Wobblog, talk about mob-victim mentality, when a message popped up on my computer announcing a new comment on my blog. Curious as I am, I paused the video to check out the comment. OMG!!!! It was Lori herself!!! At the very moment I was listening to her, she was writing on my blog. I thought that was pretty cool. I've still got goosebumps!

I've also got a puffy eye! Looks like I've been punched in the face. At the same time I was listening to Lori & Lori was commenting on my blog, a mosquito decided to join in on the fun. Where did I get a mosquito bite? Right in the corner of my eye. It looks horrible. How in the world did a mosquito manage to get there when I wear glasses? I'm so grateful for the sunny weather so I can wear sunglasses all day long. Though, this morning while I was in a queue at the bank, I thought I'd better remove the shades because I looked very suspicious. People have been a little panicky lately because of all the bank robberies here in Portugal. So between showing off my swollen eye, which might give my husband a bad reputation, and being mistaken for a bank robber, I decided to swallow my vanity. It was quite embarrassing.

So what's the freakiest thing that has ever happened to you? Do tell!

Meet my sexy husband

...when he's not looking so sexy and thinks the flu is a terminal disease. Have to quote my friend Tertia on this one:

"Man Flu. An almost life-threatening debilitating affliction. Husbands are painful at the best of times. Sick husbands are like an ingrown toenail squished inside a pointy shoe worn to a cocktail party. Or like German orthopaedic shoes. PAINFUL!"

Bump on the head

I went to pick up the little guy at school today for our ritual Tuesday lunch. I took one look at his forehead and nearly fainted. I'm usually so cool under pressure, except when it comes to accidents & illnesses. I freak out completely, imagining all worst-case scenarios possible.

A typical little boy thing, though. He was in the playground during recess and a big kid - grade 4, can you believe it? - ran into his forehead. Actually, sinking his teeth into his forehead, thus the nasty looking bump. No, not a pretty picture indeed. But little boys revel in these things, unlike their squeamish moms, secretely hoping for scars that'll make them look really tough.

My heart skipped a beat once again. But as Gloria Gaynor so nicely puts it, "I will survive".